Saturday, March 21, 2015

NJ is still home but....

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, 
like you'll not only miss the people you love 
but you'll miss the person you are now, 
at this time and this place, 
because you'll never be this way ever again."

I remember posting that status on my Facebook the night before I moved to Florida. #deep right?! No but for real, it was the only thing that honestly captured how I was feeling. I was leaving home and moving 1000 miles away, of course I was going to miss Bayonne, my family and my friends, but ultimately I was going to miss the way things were. I knew things were never going to be the same. Sure I would visit and still talk to everyone but there was this feeling I knew I was never going to get back.

Here I am, two and a half years later, freshly back from a week long NJ vacation and this quote has never been more true. 

Let me preface this with I love New Jersey. Bayonne will ALWAYS be my home. It will always be my answer when people say “where are you from?” It’s where I grew up. It’s where (most) of my family is. There will always be a huge part of my heart. But, things just aren’t the same, they’ll never be that way again.

Going home each time gets just a little bit harder. People’s lives move on without you, (DUH Clance, the world doesn’t revolve around you even though sometimes you think it might.) People form new friendships, start new relationships, get new jobs. People change, not for the better or worse necessarily, they just change- it’s inevitable. 

My trips home are never what I imagine they will be. I have plans that all my friends will take off of work, we will go out and party every night, we’ll spend too much time laughing and catching up, going on adventures, making terrible decisions and loving every moment of it. In reality, they go to work, come home and are too tired to do anything and do it all again the next day. Hey, I don’t blame them… They’re not the ones on vacation and I totally get that. Weekends are spent trying to cram everyone in, feeling guilty because I feel like I don’t have enough time to spend with any one specific person. Before you know it, I’m hopping back on a plane back to Florida. 

This is definitely a hard thing to come to terms with. I’ve always acted like I still kind of live in New Jersey. I always find a way to slip NJ into a conversation, tell a story or just let everyone know that's where I'm from. I’ve been reluctant to let myself fully love Florida. I don’t want any of my friends or family to read this post and think that I love Bayonne any less because that’s not at all the case. It’s just DIFFERENT. I still love it and it will always be home. But I’ve definitely made room in my heart for a second “home.” 

Anyway, I'm done being sappy. Here’s some quick pictures from this trip. It was filled with too much delicious food, spending quality time with my dad and grandma and seeing my best friend! I miss it already, but I am happy to be back driving on roads with no potholes and 80 degree weather!

First stop, BAGELS. You don't know what you're missing if you've never had a Bacon Egg and Cheese from NJ. (Hold the bacon on mine, duh.)

We celebrated Michele's birthday at a sketchy little karaoke place in the city! Lots of beers and laughs. No singing for me. I've only done karaoke once and we sang Enter Sandman by Metallica, definitely a story for another time.

Lots and lots of basketball. #marchmadness

Not a trip home without the diner! Florida, if you could get on board with this, I would be okay with that.

Although we didn't venture to the city for the St Patrick's Day parade, I still celebrated my favorite day of all time. 

The BEST cookies ever.

Shopping trips at the Jersey Shore outlets, where I managed to not buy a single thing, (way to go with that self control girl) followed by lunch at Kelly's.

My last day home included me being as adventurous as I get. My best friend convinced me to try sushi. I mean, I had chicken tempura, but you have to start somewhere ...right?

Hope you enjoyed today's recap and mini revelation.
If any of you have moved away from home, do you have the same feelings?

it's been fun,

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